


Xyzzy Sips

by thescyfychannel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Flirting, Implied Future Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Video Game Bar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 17:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19480543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescyfychannel/pseuds/thescyfychannel
Summary: You've had some bad fucking ideas in your night but this one takes the cake for reasons you are still completely unwilling to admit. Oh, god, this is a bad idea. Sort of. You're still not even sure.





	Xyzzy Sips

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TTMIYH](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TTMIYH/gifts).



> "Karkat introduces his matesprit to his kismesis and is somehow surprised that they end up becoming BFFs almost immediately, to his horror and consternation."
> 
> Well. He's not sure what the fuck to do, but They Sure Did That.

You'd had daymares about how this day might go. Visions of the worst possible options, the way things might not work, the absolutely awful exchanges that could go down, the hurtful words they could end up saying to each other. It haunted you, the horror of it, day and night. Stable relationships _required_ that a matesprit and a kismesis not be diametrically opposed (foes) unless some type of super-stable vacillation was going on.

This, though.

This was _far_ worse than your worst predictions.

They were _getting along._

* * *

To get to the bottom of this, you'll need to think critically. You'll need to start at the beginning. You'll need to redefine your role in this sordid love-hate affair.

You'll need to figure out why the _fuck_ you thought a video game bar was a good idea for a first mutual date.

Oh. Right.

Mutual interests.

It wasn't so much that Sollux Captor was antisocial as that he didn't actually like people. And Dave, well. Dave Strider was an enigmaa all his own. You'll be honest, you're not actually sure which one you're in pitch and which one you're in flush with, some night. Maybe a little bit of both? Probably a little bit of both. But what they _did_ have in common, what you were a hundred percent, completely certain they could talk about and maybe even bond a little over, was gaming. Arcade gaming, to be precise.

Oh, and also, you'd planned on there being maybe a teensy bit of alcohol present, just in case you needed a conversation starter (cocktail names, yet another thing they both liked to make fun of), and you had _not_ counted on them getting along this well.

You're watching them demolish some poor scrub at Mario Kart, and you absolutely do not miss the conspiratorial glance they send over your way. This is the worst. They're becoming _friends_.

It's a damn good thing you'd already offered to drive, because you're very tempted to go to fucking town on a Princess Peach, regardless of whatever unholy alcoholic content such a cutesily named drink might be hiding.

* * *

Another two laps of the Rainbow Road, and you think they're finally done. At least, they set their controllers down and head your way, and _woah_ , those are some serious smolder eyes you're getting. You have a feeling you're starting to blush. Oh god you hope you're not starting to blush.

"So, uh," you say, and they drop down on the barstools to either side of you, in a move that _somehow_ crushes you up between them. Fuck. Okay. You can do this. You can totally keep your brain on straight while your two hot boyfriends are pressed up against you. You're just...gonna take a sip of your cool, refreshing drink.

"We've been thinking," Dave says, and you manage to swallow your ice water before you spit it all over yourself.

"Y...yeah?" Oh, god. You sound like a fucking anime character. You sound like a badly written porno, the way that just squeaked out.

And what's worse is that judging from the mutually devious expressions (you're extrapolating, Dave _still_ has the shades and Sollux _always_ looks this smug) is that they're probably hearing the same thing too. "Yup," says Sollux, his eyes on you. Since when has he learned how to look all fucking, you know, predatory?? That shouldn't be allowed! It's unfairly hot! "We think we should do this again."

"Oh," you manage, and hope that you don't look like you're about to pop a wiggly right there.

But apparently, you do, because they trade another look (and you know this look, it's the "time to get Karkat home so I can fuck him senseless" look), and Dave loops an arm behind your back and slides you off the chair, and Sollux drops a kiss on your horn before floating over a tip to cover the tab, and oh gods, they're _friends_ , they're teaming up, you are _so_ fucking screwed.


End file.
